A friend of mine showed me a Youtube video last month that absolutely floored me. I had never before seen such a powerful demonstration of a mother and father’s love for their child. At six minutes in length, this is longer than most online video clips, but I promise it’s well worth it. Check it out when you get a chance.
After we watched the video, my friend told me that Matt and Ginny Mooney would be speaking at his church that Sunday. The pastor was doing a multiple-week message on grief, and he had asked Matt and Ginny if they would be willing to come up from Arkansas to speak to the congregation. I went to the church a few weeks ago to listen to their message, and learned that this isn’t something they go around the country doing. In fact, this would only be the second time since Eliot’s death a couple years ago that they would be speaking at an out-of-state church.
As you would expect, the message was about love, loss, grief, and ultimately, beauty and hope. If you want to listen to their message, I’ve grabbed a copy of the podcast from the church. You can get it here.
There was one part towards the end of their talk that particularly struck me. Matt was talking about all of the good that they had seen come out of their son’s life. Love shared, hope spread, lives touched – all positive things. But then he surprised me with the following statement:
If I could take back everything he’s meant to everybody, and all of the good . . . to hold him in my arms for five minutes, for a minute, I would do it in a heartbeat. And that’s just me being completely honest with you. I would take all the good that I have seen, that I cannot deny, to hold my son again.
Wow.
It really made me think about how we deal with things as humans. Pain is incredibly real to us all the time. We go through our lives, and there are some things that can be uncomfortable, even though we know they are in our best interest. Exercising, working out, going to the dentist, things like that. Some would call them a ‘necessary evil’. And for most of these kinds of things, it’s no big deal.
Hearing Matt say this, however, made me realize that when you take this kind of situation to the extreme, the way we deal with it doesn’t change; it just gets amplified. Now please don’t get me wrong – as in my previous examples, I’m not saying that losing a child is ever in anyone’s best interest. What I am saying is that even in a heartbreaking situation, we can sometimes see the good that can come of it.
But even with the knowledge that lives are being touched, and even if you’re a Christian and believe that God is good, and that you’ll see your son again, it’s interesting to realize that none of those things matter to your heart. All your heart knows is that it feels incredible pain and loss. What’s amazing to me, though, is that even through all of this anguish, we still have the ability to conduct ourselves in a way that brings honor to the life that was lost. How can we put aside all of the hurt to focus on the positive, to bring hope and inspiration to others, and to make their lives better as a result of our pain? I don’t know the answer to that question, but I am so happy that we can do it if we choose to. It speaks volumes about the resilience of the human spirit, and the strong role that faith, hope and love play in all our lives.
On a personal note, I would like to thank Matt and Ginny for sharing their time and their story with us. I have three young children of my own, and their health issues can sometimes stress me out. Hearing their amazing story has reminded me to take a step back and realize how incredibly blessed I am to have my kids with me every day. Thanks, guys.
Finally, I’m happy to report that Matt and Ginny are doing well, and have a 6-month-old baby girl named Hazel. If you’d like to catch up on what’s going on in their lives, you can visit their blog at http://thespectacularvernacular.blogspot.com/. From there you will find links to the organization they set up to help serve special needs kids, as well as Twitter pages for both Matt and Ginny.
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