Identity

Changing the world by making a positive impact in the lives of the people around us.

Home

About This Site

About Me

Subscribe

Keep in Touch

5 Things You Shouldn’t Be Afraid Of


Last night I was thinking about the daunting task I have ahead of me, and I was getting a bit nervous. After all, I’ve never done anything like this before. Come to think of it, I don’t know if anyone even has done anything like it before. What if I make a fool out of myself? What if it’s going okay, but all the personal stuff I have to deal with prevents me from moving forward? What if I can’t handle the workload? What if I simply fail?

With all these questions running through my mind, I decided to give myself a little pep talk, so I began to look for sources of inspiration. There’s no question about it — life is hard, and we all have those things that make us want to lie down and give up. But when all is said and done, the people who give up aren’t the ones who make a difference in this world. As Lance Armstrong says, “Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever.”

Still, there’s always a measure of uncertainty when you’re facing a difficult task. I think that’s to be expected, but something I have to be better about is not letting that uncertainty turn into unwarranted fear. Everything that follows is something I told myself last night, and now I’m passing it on to you as well.

Here are five things that you don’t have to be afraid of:

 

1. Doing It Your Way

The easiest way to get noticed is to do something that nobody else is doing. People generally like to keep the status quo, so breaking with tradition will get you isolated from the group — set apart so all the world can see you succeed . . . or fail. It can get lonely out there all by yourself, and you run the risk of embarrassing yourself in front of everyone you know. But you also have the chance to inspire the world. Don’t be afraid to be yourself and see what happens.

 

2. Your Circumstances

I’m not gonna lie, guys. I worry. A lot. With a personal history of crippling anxiety attacks, and kids who need constant medical attention, everyday life can get very, very scary for me. I don’t understand why all of this has to be the way it is, and I can get very discouraged with my situation. But then I see people like Dick and Rick Hoyt, and I realize that I have very little to complain about. I should be able to do so much more than sit around and feel sorry for myself, and I do a disservice to my family if I don’t make every one of my actions the best it can possibly be, regardless of my circumstance. Of course, it’s one thing to say this, and yet another thing to live through it. I still struggle mightily with dealing with my situation, but for me, spending time in prayer and thinking about positive examples like this help me get through it.

*For more details on Team Hoyt, watch this video.

 

3. Hard Work

I’m a basketball player, and my inspiration has always come from Michael Jordan . . . but not for the reason you may think. Yes, he was one of the greatest talents the game has ever seen, and he physically dominated many of his opponents, but I look up to him for his superhuman work ethic. He put in the most time in practice. He competed in practice as if it were a game. He played each game as if it were his last. And what’s more, he held all of his teammates to the same standard, which is even harder than doing it yourself. When you saw him do something incredible during a playoff game, you were just seeing Showtime Jordan. You probably don’t think about it much, but Practice Jordan had practiced that move a thousand times. He’d rehearsed it inside out and upside down. He had put in the work to get where he was. I’ve been learning over the last couple of years that there is no substitute for hard work. No matter how talented you may be, sweat equity is the thing that’s going to get you to the top. I really like this video because it’s one of the few highlight compilations that show you a little bit of the tough behind-the-scenes work before you get to the fun stuff.

*Bonus feature – just found this commercial — pretty cool: Michael Jordan — Maybe

 

4. Failure

This is one area that I think I do okay. I’m no stranger to failure — I’ve been doing it all my life, in one way or another. I went to college on academic scholarship, with all the potential in the world, and I was doing great until I got bored. Once my mind wasn’t interested in school, I couldn’t bring myself to show up for class . . . or even exams. I was unceremoniously kicked out of the Honors Program. I went from a perpetual straight-A student to a 0.9 GPA. I failed all my classes, and then I dropped out of school, never to return. But it didn’t bother me. I knew that all the potential everyone always talked about didn’t have to be limited to studies. I could make an impact in a different way. I didn’t know what that way was, but it was up to me to figure it out. And that’s what I’m continuing to do with this project — figuring out how I’m going to use my life to make a difference. I believe that failure is okay as long as you learn from it. The way I see it, failure is the the proving ground for success. As long as you learn from it, you’ll come back stronger, smarter, and more successful than before. Don’t fear it — embrace it.

I wasn’t going to support this point with another Jordan video, but I just came across one that fits perfectly, so I’ll use it.

 

5. Having Fun

We all go through tough times in this life, and it can be hard to see the value in something as simple as having fun. But I firmly believe that even during your deepest struggles (and sometimes especially so), the temporary release you get from doing something you enjoy can make a huge difference in your overall well-being. When I went through a two-year period of severe illness, the few times I can remember laughing hard were when a buddy and I were making fun of how pathetic I was. Granted, that’s my sense of humor, and that type of thing won’t work for everyone (my wife hated it), but my point is that if you can find something, anything, that makes you happy during a painful time, take advantage of it.

Of course it needn’t be as dire as all that. I think it’s a great idea to try to have fun wherever you can in all aspects of your everyday life. Take the following video example from the business world. It’s a marketing campaign for a big company. It’s all about gaining exposure and building brand awareness. But the marketing team that came up with this campaign weren’t afraid to have some fun in their job, and just take a look at the result. Don’t be afraid of injecting a little levity into your life — stuffiness is overrated.

So those are the thoughts that came to me at 4:00 A.M. when I was trying to bolster my self-confidence with this project. They are not absolutes, and they’re probably not the same for everybody. But I do think they’re valuable. What do you guys think? What should be added to this list? Let me know . . .

Similar Posts:

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment below or subscribing to ItStartsWith.Us to have future articles delivered to your feed reader. If you want to hear my inane, uncensored ramblings, you may Follow me on Twitter. Thanks!
Share this article with others:
  • email
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • TwitThis
  • Tumblr
  • del.icio.us
  • Sphinn
  • Mixx
  • MySpace
  • Propeller
  • LinkedIn
  • Mathilde
    Nate,
    I just joined in and eagerly waiting for my first assignment so i'm not browsing through your website. Knew all the videos in this post but enjoyed so much watching them again and forwarded this post to all my friend. Reminds me of another blog in the same vein called Operation Beautiful.
    It is just so easy sometimes to make someone's day. And it feel so unbelievably amazing when someone makes YOUR day. Thanks for an amazing concept, thanks for bringing the smiles (and emotional tears as well) into my dull office day!
    Mathilde
  • Amemoore
    Nate,
    You are incredible. To add to your list: being fearless when it comes to asking questions. Pride stands in the way sometimes and having to admit we are not "in the know" can be a very vulnerable place. I am finding people love to share and educate. My fear usually surrounds how I will be perceived. Remembering we are often our harshest critic can help me to relax a bit, just be and learn from asking the things I do no know.
    Amy
  • cait625
    That was wow! Very inspirational!!!
  • jsdixon
    I think this is the best of your posts that I've read so far. Thank you so much for putting this up here!
  • And thank you for taking the time to read and comment - it helps to know
    that there are people out there who go through some of the same things.
  • I tend to be kind of oblivious to possible issues in getting big things like this going. I sort of jump in with both feet, regardless of the consequences. It's possibly not the best way to be, but it's certainly useful in avoiding being scared of possible outcomes. Heh.

    Some wise words there, Nate. Thank you. :-)
  • Coralie, sometimes I wish I were more like you.
  • Each has its advantages. I guess all sorts of different people working together can achieve great things. :-)
  • mike2587
    Wow... That was a great article. It hit me pretty hard only to realize these things right now. You don't realize the things you take for granted everyday and how there are people out there who are less fortunate then you. It's always really nice to get that breath of fresh air. I also really like the point that hard work pays off and I must say, staying up until 4:00am writing certainly seems like hard work to me.

    Thanks for the article.

    Mike
  • Nate,

    I'd add "Opening up" and "Being vulnerable" to the list. (Maybe those are the same as #1, though.)

    What I'm talking about is sharing personal stories and feelings, like you do here on your blog. If we're going to change the world, we'll need to connect with each other, and I mean REALLY connect, not just know a few facts about each other. And for that to happen, we need to open up and share our authentic selves.

    Thanks for being courageous enough to put yourself out there.

  • @PaceSmith

    Thank you, Pace. I agree with everything you said in your comment, and I took the time to go through a bunch of your stuff over at the Freak Revolution. I'm really interested . . . we should chat more. Email me anytime.
  • Will do! I believe we're heading toward the same goal in different ways!
  • What a great post! I love the 5 things you've mentioned and the videos are great too. I've watched the wedding one a few times but I've never thought about it as doing in your way, which is a great way to think about it! :)
  • Awesome post Nate!

    Sometimes I forget how incredible Michael Jordan was. He was my idol when I was a kid. Of course, I only saw the fruits of his labor: the dunking, showboating, and winning. I never saw the thousands of hours of practice that went into it.
  • Thanks, David. You know I was just trying to keep up with your awesome posts, right? :)

    Seriously, folks, do yourself a favor and check out David's site, http://www.raptitude.com. He's a great thinker with a ton of fantastic articles.
  • Jj Soule'
    This is the best post I've read in a long time! Love your humor and writing style. Thanks for the pep talk!!

    p.s. You can always try to find a video on narwhals to add to the list. They can dive to 4500 ft :) lol
  • The narwhal comment made me laugh hard, hahahaha
  • Jenah
    Wow! I just watched the Team Hoyt clip. What an inspiration! That's one of those things for when you feel down on yourself/self pity you just need to watch that! Remember, no matter how bad it is, someone else has it worse! (Or at least just as bad!) We need to remember to be thankful for all we do have. Thanks for all you do, in organizing this group and giving of yourself! I hope we can make a difference.
  • This is a lovely message to portray, and one I think we call ALL relate to. For me, #2 hits me especially hard. I had a very rough period of my life & the reason it lasted as long as it did is because I let myself get even more upset about it. I didn't believe that I could fix my situation, and I just felt like my life was DOOMED for failure. Dramatic, I know - but it's true. It's important for us all to realize that our life is WHAT WE MAKE IT! If you're not happy with something, fix it! If it's something you can't fix, just have FAITH that it will work out the way it's supposed to. I know, I know - easier said than done. But, really, it's the only thing we can do :)
  • Jenah
    My dad was in AA and brought home a prayer that I have always loved and try to live by:
    God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
    The courage to change the things I can
    and the wisdom to know the difference!
    I really love it! And it make me think of dear old dad, now gone 17 years!
  • You're absolutely right, Krista. We should make the determination that we'll fix as much as we can, and if we can't, have faith that it'll work out for good. That's all we can do, and maybe even it's not that much, but you know what? It's the best we can do, and that has to be good enough.
blog comments powered by Disqus