A few weeks ago I put out a request to the ISWU team asking if anyone would be interested in writing an article or two for this blog. One of the responses was from Aniela, a 19-year-old college student. Today I’d like to give her the opportunity to share her thoughts.
Everyone becomes ill at some time or another; it’s a fact of life. A common cold is bad enough, but a major illness can be debilitating, both physically and emotionally. It can be hard watching someone you love suffer and it’s just as hard going through it yourself. My younger sister and I were born with Situs Inversus Totalis (all of our internal organs are on the opposite sides – like a mirror image) and Kartagener’s Syndrome (Immotile cilia – the cilia in the body does not function properly). I’ve had an interesting nineteen years of life so far, but this past year was especially hard.
It was my first year of college, two hours from home on a campus in the middle of nowhere; my paternal great-grandmother passed away, most likely from heart problems; my maternal grandmother was hospitalized and is now pretty much homebound as a result; and my sister was also sent to the hospital due to complications with her Kartagener’s and a recurring bout of pneumonia. Because of all the stress and my already weak immune system, sleep was infrequent and I was getting sick a lot.
For me, the worst part of living with Kartagner’s and Situs Inversus hasn’t been the medications or the limitations, but the guilt. I’m not a person who likes to complain, never have been. I’d much rather bite the bullet and suffer alone, then to put my burdens on someone who already has enough problems of their own. I think that was my downfall. I’ve come to realize that it’s okay to cry, it’s alright to feel low, and sometimes you have to let your emotions out. It’s impossible to keep everything bottled in without imploding.
My family, although far from perfect, is a large source of my strength. I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it must be for my parents to raise two children with our condition and yet, they never hesitate in encouraging us in anything we want to do, no matter how ridiculous it seems at the time. My sister, likewise, is someone I look up to more than I think she realizes. Throughout my life I’ve found that the support of family and friends is irreplaceable when dealing with illness. Knowing that you have people who love you, even when you’re at your lowest, is an amazing feeling and sometimes is all you need to keep going.
Hope doesn’t always come easily, particularly when you are being bombarded not only from the outside, but the inside as well. Above all, I have found that it is usually the smallest things that give the most hope; you just have to keep your eyes and heart open. A sunrise, a song that you can connect to, the warmth of the sun after a rainy day, the first signs of spring, a baby’s smile, or a stranger who reminds you that chivalry isn’t dead after all – little things that can have an indescribable impact on someone suffering or even a person who is just not having the best of days.
Cures are amazing when they’re discovered, but in the meantime, a gentle smile and a listening ear can be just as comforting. That’s why giving back, and sites like Itstartswith.us, is so important to me. When you give back you aren’t just helping others but you’re helping yourself. Volunteering has helped me to see what I have, rather than what I don’t. It’s caused me to realize just how lucky I am. And you don’t have to do something amazingly drastic to make someone’s day. Just holding the door open or saying “Hello, you look beautiful today.” can be enough. Little things add up and slowly but surely become big things.
Even if you’re at your lowest and have been broken and shattered until all that’s left is the dust of what you once were, there’s still hope. As long as there is the tiniest of specks, there is still a chance for growth and hope, even in the darkest and sickest of days.
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