I used to write a blog. Then, as I began to build and grow all my projects, I realized that I didn’t have the time to write on a consistent basis. So I outsourced writing duties on the ItStartsWith.Us blog to other people. And now here I find myself, three months later, realizing that I am no longer a blogger.

To be fair, I never really considered myself primarily a blogger – I’ve always been a more project-oriented guy who just happens to write adequately and often enough to be viewed as one. But still, I was proud of my writing. And now I am not.

Back in October I brought on someone to manage all the writing on the site, including contributions by a small group of staff writers – not professional writers, but people pulled from our team who were interested in writing, gaining experience, getting their voices heard, etc. At that time I wrote my last “real” blog post, “Your Best Friend.” Other than that my only contribution to the blog has pretty much consisted of updates on the various projects I’m working on, except for one small bulleted list that I wrote in 30 seconds as a note to myself, but decided to publish. Ironically (or appropriately), that one tiny post generated more traffic than any of the other articles in the past three months.

Please understand that I’m not taking anything away from the people I brought on to help me with this. They did exactly what they were asked to do, and I really like some of the stuff that came out of it. The simple fact of the matter, however, is that they’re not me. And I hope you understand that’s not meant to sound prideful . I’ve simply realized that when you have a blog that’s built on personal experience and a familiar voice, you can’t just up and quit and give the job to someone else. It doesn’t work like that. I’ve felt this in my heart for a while now, but after trying it for three months, I also have the numbers to back it up. Every single applicable statistic on reader engagement is down (and down big) over the last three months. Across the board, folks.

I know in my heart what I want to do: I want to be proud of my blog again. And it’s so very difficult to say to those who have been helping out “Sorry, I don’t need you anymore,” but it’s what I’m going to do. Because at the end of the day I need to be 100% satisfied with the caliber of my work, and this is the way to do it. I’m taking back my blog, starting now.

I’d like to thank all the good people at BlissDom for reminding me to take another look at what I’m doing with my online voice. I’ll write more about that experience later (now that I write again, ha), but for now I’ll leave you with something that Scott Stratten (@unmarketing) said in his keynote that really hit me. He was answering the question: How often should you write?

“You should write when you have something to say.”

And that’s what I intend to do from now on.

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Today I have something very short and sweet to say:

The secret to just about everything is getting outside of yourself.

What do I mean by ‘getting outside of yourself?’ I just mean slowing down your brain and paying attention to the people around you. Putting a hold on your personal goals, and asking who needs help with theirs. Making a sacrifice so that someone else can get what they’ve been waiting for. Going over to your Mom’s house instead of sending her a message on Facebook.

Over the last couple of decades, we’ve become a very individualized society. Words like ‘family’ and ‘community’ aren’t dropped too much anymore when discussing life decisions. The idea of still being friends at 25 or 30 with the kid you met on the playground when you were 5? That’s obsolete for 9 out of 10 people. With the traditional media explosion (radio, television, and eventually the Internet), culture shifted from what immediately surrounded you in your daily life to something that’s worldwide, and people then had their pick of what culture they wanted to adhere to. Through traditional media, we all got grouped into the humanity movement. And, true to human nature, we rebelled by ’standing out,’ ‘being unique,’ ‘embracing diversity’ and ‘doing me.’ (I could elaborate much more on the symptoms of individualism, but that’s for later, and not quite the point of this.)

Then came what I lovingly refer to as Teh Soshal Mediaz. Thanks to social media, we’ve suddenly become a relational generation again. Sure, it looks wildly different from the 1950’s, but I think we’re finally realizing that we might have thrown the baby out with the bathwater when we raced to put our careers first, let go of some pretty significant family values, and when “doing me” became the epitome of Cool.

Even if you don’t use social media, that’s okay. It’s changing your world for you, and you didn’t even have to Like any Facebook fan pages. There’s been an outrageous rush in even the last 365 days to raise awareness, build online communities, use Twitter to strengthen local non-profits, bring philanthrophy to the corporate world, interact personally with customer groups, and elevate the importance of sincere relationships.

We’ve even gotten so far as to have a man we call Doctor Love (Paul Zak) do extensive studies to prove that Oxytocin, the cuddle chemical, is triggered by things like a positive Facebook status comment. In the same way a bearhug from your best friend does. The significance? The corporate world is now anticipating that in the near future, their worth will be primarily measured not by their profit margins, but in customer relationships and their trust factor. Yes, people. Social capital is more valuable than money in the bank.

This has left us scrambling to figure out how to best gain this social capital. And it’s so, so easy. The secret is getting outside of yourself.

What does this mean for you? It means that we finally have proof that putting others first is the best way for the world to work. It means that engaging in a sincerely interested manner with the person at the drive-thru gives you an amazingly good return on your 5 minute investment. It means that putting a sticky note on your dashboard reminding you to focus on others, and not yourself, will actually increase your standard of living. It means that the whole purpose of social media is to be social: “marked by friendly companionship with others.”

But, there’s a catch. Being driven by love isn’t something you can fake. Even behind a creative Twitter handle, intricate philanthropic blog network, or super cute profile photo, people can tell fairly quickly what your motive is. Most people who are paying attention can skim a blog, and after 10 minutes, give you a fairly educated guess on what that blogger’s definition of success is.

I want this to be a challenge to you. Make a conscious decision to put other people’s interests above your own. When you go through the drive-thru, stop thinking about your next destination long enough to realize that a real human being is serving you. And when you jump on Twitter and half-skim a couple hundred tweets as your type yours up, pay attention to who needs a little extra love that day.

Success isn’t complicated, you guys. Fight the urge to be ruled by the numbers game and to be ‘doing me’, and let’s go back to our 1950’s roots – where family and community take priority in our lives. While still crushing on our sexy MacBook Pros.

Lauren (@laurenlankford)

Note: Lauren is the Team Leader for our sister project, Love Bomb. You can check out her own blog here, and follow Love Bomb on Twitter here. Similar Posts:

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As most of you know, ItStartsWith.Us likes to spin off side projects every year. And this year I’m really excited to announce the launch of another project designed to utilize the power of micro-giving to change lives: Love Drop.

From the site:

“Love Drop is a micro-giving network of people who unite as a community
to help one person or family a month. By subscribing to the team for as
low as $1, we make it easy for our members to change lives in a fun and
tangible way. Each month Love Drop delivers a unique combination of
unexpected financial gifts, personal encouragement and the support of
local and online communities.”

This one is gonna be a lot of fun, guys. Seriously, how amazing will it be to travel around the country helping out people who are going through tough times, but are still finding ways to give back to others? And the point is not to just give money, but to get our entire community involved in giving anything they want that could improve our recipients’ lives. The creativity on this one will be off the charts – I can’t wait to see what we all come up with.

This month we’re working to help Jill, a single mom in Chicago who just lost everything in a house fire and is now homeless . . . for the second time. But wait ’til you see her attitude and the ways she continues to reach out to help others. Head on over to LoveDrop.us and check it out!Similar Posts:

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1. There’s a lot of pain in this world. A lot.

2. I can’t fix it, and neither can you.

3. We still have to try.

4. Most of the time we will fail.

5. We have to try again.

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In our consumer culture, the holiday season is often marked by a shopping frenzy as millions of people around the world venture to stores in search of gifts to buy for family and friends. This year, in a changing economic climate, ItStartsWith.Us has compiled a recession-friendly holiday gift guide of our own. Here are a few of the most timeless and precious gifts to share with family, friends and strangers.

Although never on sale nor even available at retail stores, these items are certain to make lasting impressions.

Photo Credit: Luis Agrerich

10. Time
 Try slowing down instead of hurrying off to the next destination. Giving generously of time to others can mean letting go of the numbers on the clock and being present in the moment. Give time by staying a while longer in conversations or eagerly lending a helping hand with unplanned requests.

9. Gratitude

There’s nothing like the genuine sincerity of a thank you to spread cheer and goodwill. Words and gestures of appreciation never go out of style.

Photo Credit: Lz.

8. A Second Chance

It was plain wrong. You know it and they know it. Nevertheless, everyone makes mistakes. This season, how about a do over? An opportunity to right a wrong is a powerful act of forgiveness.

7. A Smile

We’re not talking about the artificial, two second, discount smile. Instead, go for the 100-watt grin that doesn’t care about crooked, straight or missing teeth. A heartwarming smile that reaches into the soul can create a returned smile of equal delight.

Photo Credit: ganesha.isis

6. A Hug
 Goes perfect with a smile. Five, ten and 15 second hello and goodbye versions are recommended.

5. Laughter

Wrapped in a joke, funny story or goofy expression, the gift of laughter can fill a room and break even the most awkward of silences in an instant.

4. Encouragement

Convincing ourselves that everything is really going to be okay in the midst of difficult times can be hard.  Hearing it from someone else helps us get through the rough patches of life.

3. Patience

In a fast paced world, an overflow of patience allows for a soothing calmness guaranteed to amaze and inspire others.

Photo Credit: Tiree

2. An Open Mind

Suspending judgment to whole-heartedly considering another perspective creates a whole new world of possibilities. Transform a relationship or two by really understanding another’s life experiences and viewpoint.

1. Love

For the biggest gift-givers of this holiday season and year round, the gift of Love includes the listed items above and more than the mind can ever conceive. With love, go for the big wow factor to create a world of pleasant surprises and infinite joy.

Photo credits:

 www.flickr.com/photos/lrargerich/3093287432/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/macjewell/2736570618/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ganesha_isis/4439563089/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/28223602@N04/3200265645/in/photostream/Similar Posts:

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Okay guys, it’s finally here – the launch of Love Drop! J. Money and I have been working on the site pretty much non-stop for two weeks, so we’re pretty tired. But it feels so good to get this thing pushed out to the public. I’m not going to go into it a lot right here; I’m just gonna include the intro video I shot for the site, and encourage you to check it out yourself here: www.LoveDrop.us

Please take a look around the site and share the link and the idea with people who may be interested. And give those Facebook share buttons a click, okay?

We’re now shifting our attention to preparing for our first Drop, to take place down (or up, for most of you) in Chicago in January. I hope you’ll join the team and help us make a huge difference for this family this year.

Thanks!

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Following is a guest post from ISWU member Deb Chitwood who is on a mission to bring more smiles to the world.  Read below to find out more about Project Smile.

I’m on a crusade. All of us participating in Project Smile are on a crusade … “Making the world brighter one smile at a time.” Project Smile is the brainchild of Alicia at A Beautiful Mess. Alicia lives in Iowa and thought of Project Smile at the end of August as a way to make life a little brighter during the upcoming fall and winter months.

Now there’s a Project Smile link-up on the last day of each month and through the following week where everyone participating shares their Project Smile posts. Bloggers share things they’re grateful for, inspirations … simply, things that make them smile. Bloggers can share in the form of lists, poems, stories, photos, quotes, videos … whatever inspires their gratitude and smiles that month.

At Raising Figure Skaters, I publish my Project Smile post on the last Friday of the month and link up the last day of the month. I like to share quotes, videos, and other inspiration I find online that make me smile. I typically create a word-art freebie from a quote in my other post that week to go along with my Project Smile post.

In my September Project Smile post, I quoted a study that found happiness (and unhappiness) spreads through networks of people. So Project Smile can make a real difference if enough of us work together to spread happiness.

In my October post, I shared an awesome short film called Validation, which truly captures the spirit of Project Smile. In my November post, I shared two flash mob videos that made me smile and gave me inspiration at the beginning of the holiday season. Both months I succeeded in making people smile with the videos. But what can I say … just as often, I heard the videos made people cry (but happy tears … I know, I was teary-eyed too)!

For myself and others, Project Smile is more than a post and link-up. It’s a reminder that we have much to be grateful for, that we can make a difference simply by making the world a happier place. Please join us in our crusade.

Word-Art Freebie 

Deb’s Video Bio

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First of all, big thanks to everyone who has e-mailed me, expressing interest in our Mysterious Letters project. Our leadership team of 20 has selected a secret town we can really impact, and we’re looking forward to getting the ball rolling on this.

We would love to share the name of the town with you all, but we want to keep this what it is — mysterious. If a resident were to Google their town name, that element of mystery could be potentially ruined (especially since the town we’re writing to has a population of about 300; word can spread fast in a town of that size!). Just think of the joy of opening your mailbox to find a surprise letter of inspiration; it’s always exciting to receive anything other than that mundane piece of junk mail or that dreaded, monthly bill.

Our goal is to have the handwritten letters sent out to our mysterious town by the first week of December.

What you can do: Start brainstorming ideas, begin composing a message you’d like to share and most importantly, get creative. The handwritten letter is becoming a lost art form; let’s bring it back!

Just a few ideas:

• Postcards

• Poems about communities

• Inspirational quotes

• Simple “thinking of you” cards (provided they aren’t of the, “thinking of you while you’re in the hospital,” or, “so sorry your significant other of two years broke up with you,” variety)

• Letters written on handmade stationary

• Any other creative, community-related ideas you might have!

A few examples of what is NOT okay:

• Since we’re sending our letters out in December, many of us might find ourselves in the “holiday spirit.” However, this is about connecting a community. We will discard anything holiday-themed (e.g. Christmas cards) and will NOT send them to the secret town.

• Steer away from anything political or religious. Remember, this is about them. Again, we’re trying to connect a community. We are not in the business of pushing our own agendas.

Stay Updated:
We will have a P.O. Box for you to send your letters to, as well as additional instructions on composing and sending the letters, in a blog post to come. We will also be accepting messages that you would like to share with the “secret community” via e-mail, if you’re not the artsy-craftsy type (our team of letter-writers are more than happy to, and will make sure, that your message is handwritten and sent to a resident or small business in the mysterious town).

If you have any questions about this project, please feel free to e-mail alicia.ISWU.letters@gmail.com.

Thanks again to the wonderful Mysterious Letters leadership team — and most of all, thanks so much to all of YOU for being a part of this!

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Sorry the audio sync is a little off with this video in the beginning . . . don’t know what happened there.

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Hey guys, you’ve heard a lot from me lately about Love Drop, our latest project (you know, the one where we use the micro-giving concept to drop some financial love and change the life of one family a month). We’ve gotten a lot of emails and calls asking for more information about what we’re doing, so today I wanted to give ya’ll (I’m in Texas right now, so twang it out) a detailed summary of what we’re doing, what we’re offering, and what we’re looking for in partners.

This isn’t perfect yet, and it isn’t final. It’ll morph and grow as we continue to build toward our launch in January. But this is our first for-profit venture, and I want to keep everything above board. So here we go:

In the first week we brought in 50-some members (just getting started, folks). We hired someone to help us run the entire back end. J$ and I are literally going to go to these places every month. Here’s how we see it working:

• We’re framing this project as the Nate and J$ traveling show, galvanizing people both online and in person to come together and change the life of one family a month. Casual, fun, personal, lots of video . . . just us being us, having fun and making a difference
• Anyone subscribes for any amount they wish
• They suggest people to help each month
• We choose one person/family each month
• We tell the story via blog posts, pictures, interviews, videos
• Others from the online world join in to help that month
• We reach out to the local community around that person for help, fun
• At the end of the month we travel there together, spend 3 days on the road
• Day 1: the two of us shoot video and do work | Day 2: predetermined day for the drop – get us and the community together to go do whatever it is we’re gonna do for them | Day 3: we have a meetup in the nearest big-ish city – all of the ISWU network folks and all of J$’s financial folks – just people having fun, changing the world

Here’s what we’re thinking in terms of corporate participation:

1) Partner with us for this month’s love drop: This is the biggest role we’ll have for companies. We’re basically saying "This month’s drop was made possible by the folks at XYZ Corp!" (and only XYZ Corp). Here’s what that means:

• One-time charge: $5,000. Pays for that month’s operational expenses. (this amount will go up as the year goes on)
• Features you prominently on homepage for that entire month
• Features you on the "success stories" page for that drop forever
• Features you on "partners" page for the year
• Features you in newsletter which will go out 2-4 times that month to every member
• Features you in applicable media mentions for that month
• Your company will be the ONLY company featured the entire month
• Your company will become a PART of the team for the month – as integral as the two of us, and the team will recognize that!

3) Contribute to Love Drop as a business rather than an individual (funds get split between recipient and Love Drop)

• $100, $250 or $500/month options
• One-time membership option (your choice of $$$)

3) Provide goods or services for a monthly drop

• Products
• Gift cards
• Specialized services
• Tickets
• Anything you can think of to help a family live easier or take a fun break

4)  Sponsor Love Drop for a year: Get your logo on our "Sponsors" page.

• Bronze: $250
• Silver: $500
• Gold: $1,000
• Platinum: $2,500

Additionally, we’re looking to enter into a one-year partnership with one corporation in each of these three areas:

1) Airline (4-6 business class tickets per month)
2) Hotel (2-4 rooms for 3 nights per month)
3) Ground Transportation (1 rental car for 3-4 days per month)

** Number four below may be a yearlong partner if interested, or we may do it based on the monthly sponsor or interested local party **

4) Meetup Venue (1 establishment per month, we’ll bring in 5-20 people for meeting and fun [this number will go up as we grow])

So that’s what we’re looking for and what we have to offer. If it sounds interesting to you, we’d love to get in touch right away. We’re looking to book out our first three months of the project (January – March), so we’re ready to hit the ground running and kick this thing off right. The more momentum we have behind this from the start, the more we can do for our first family (yet to be determined.

Hit us up at team [at] lovedrop.us with any comments or proposals!

Questions can go in the comments field, so everyone can learn from them.

Much love,
Nate and J$
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